Sexual Addiction
Sex addiction is a term that has only recently entered its way into our vernacular. We have seen glimpses of it through celebrity scandals and documentaries. Some of us learn about it through personal experience with a loved one who discloses the addiction. Yet the validity of sexual addiction is still a hotly debated topic among many researchers and psychotherapists. Can a person truly be addicted to sex?
Every week I see people in my office who are no longer in control of their sexual behavior. Their addiction has placed everything they cherish in jeopardy: marriage, family, friendships, finances, and careers. My heart fills with compassion when clients share their poignant stories. I no longer care about the long, drawn-out debates about whether sex addiction is or is not. From my perspective, sex addiction is all too real.
So what exactly is sex addiction? Many people confuse the frequency of sex, fetishes, or other non-normative sex with sexual addiction. While these behaviors may play a role, what really sets sex addiction apart are the persistent and escalating sexual thoughts and behaviors regardless of their negative consequences. As a result, the intimacy and connectivity that sex is intended to bring become distorted. They are replaced with self-induced shame or contempt. For the addict, these emotions are intolerable. As the addict repeats similar acting-out behaviors, the brain craves more intense and more frequent stimulation to achieve the initial high. The result is unbearable shame. This pattern of behavior is known as the cycle of addiction.
How can you tell if your behaviors have crossed the threshold from user to addict? If you think you might have a problem, the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) is a free, confidential on-line inventory that is designed to assist in the assessment of sexually compulsive behavior. Once you have completed the inventory, review the result with a trained, experienced professional who can best interpret it and discuss your treatment options.
The good news: There is treatment for sex addiction. I have walked beside many people on their route to healing and recovery. I want to offer you the same support on your journey. Treatment provides a safe place to explore the purpose these behaviors served in your life. The road to recovery is often fraught with challenges. However, my expertise — partnered with your honesty, willingness, and endurance — will guide you down the path to freedom.